The planning for this year’s Nottinghamshire Bowling Association’s tour started way back in August of 2008. There were several constraints placed on me as the organiser that did cause anguish with the early choice of venue. There had to be a suitable night club within yards of the hotel for the party goers. Beer had to be less than £1.50 a pint. these were only two of a long list of “desirables.” Following last year’s successful tour of Suffolk I was keen to keep up the standard and try and repeat its general mood. This was never going to be easy. Clacton and Belper were never really on the list.

Travelling was also another area where I needed to pay careful attention. Four hours in a car is no good at all for finely tuned athletes with prostate problems. I decided that Gloucestershire was probably as far as I could allow this precious group to travel.

On an internet search it was discovered that a “Cheese & Wine” festival was also taking place around the same time as our proposed tour. I would need to watch this because as you know, having cheese late at night can interfere with your sleep pattern. Getting a bowls team to peak condition is one thing, but losing that physical edge to an over dose of cheese, is another. As this event was in Cheltenham, Gloucester was chosen as the base camp. Base is probably not the operative word here, but price certainly came into it.

A Gloucestershire Masonic bowler was e-mailed and a partnership was formed to find four bowling greens that would be suitable for the matches we needed to play. Each green would need to be accessible by ramp for those early start matches, we usually play around 2.00 pm. Toilet facilities would need to pass the Marks & Spencer standard because of the calibre of our travelling support, the Notts Groupie section. The dining room chairs are another area where close examination is necessary, they do need to be soft and if possible have a cushion available. Bowlers often have “problems down there” and these little things help enormously.

With the four bowling clubs now in the brochure it was time to consider the travelling arrangements. Cars did seem the obvious choice as it gives you the freedom to set off when you like, stop when you want and generally do your own thing.

Friday June 19th arrived and little groups of bowlers set off down the M5. Whilst the location of the hotel was in Gloucester the first game of the tour was to be played in Cheltenham. All the participants arrived before the allotted hour with various stories of problems en route and the lack of parking at the bowls club. I was a little surprised at the number of Disabled Stickers that were produced to gain that parking advantage. The image did not fit with this band of athletes! The main topic of conversation during the pre-match tea was “sat navs.” I thought it funny how the liberation of women has been assisted by the invention of sat navs. The navigator is no longer the wife but this very well spoken irritating little know all on the dash board.

Friday was a really warm day and the first match was played out on a really nice bowling green. There was the odd passer by that stood for a moment to admire the technical skill of the mixed team from Nottinghamshire. Poor old Eric put three wrong bias down during the match, which if I had been told about at the time, would have got him a three pound fine. It was at breakfast the following morning that he confessed. I fined him on the Saturday.

We lost the game against Cheltenham Spa by 7 shots with Tony Hopewell’s rink taking the “glasses” for the highest winning N.M.B.A. rink of the day.

It was now time to find the hotel in Gloucester which was only approximately 20 minutes down the road. The touring side arrived at the hotel over the next two hours with again the same old sat nav stories. “I think the quickest route” was said on more than one occasion.

The booking in process at the hotel went well and I thought the best strategy was to make myself scarce whilst the familiarization of the rooms took place. Heated towel rails and fridges are just a couple of topics that can seriously affect team morale.

By half past eight dinner was over and it was time to visit the bar. By twenty to nine not a bowler was in sight. Can’t fault them, I thought, with the gym facilities in the hotel I suppose they will need to be up early in order to take advantage of the apparatus.

The hotel’s early morning call system failed most of the team on the Saturday morning with the majority arriving for breakfast well after the change of Reception Staff.

It was to Fairford that the Nottinghamshire touring team had to navigate for the second match on the tour. The village is a really beautiful English country scene but shopping was not on the menu. This came as a pleasant surprise to most of the men, but I must say the sat nav did take second place here. The game was a tremendous win for the N.M.B.A. with the winning margin being 27 shots.

For the Sunday match it was back to Cheltenham for a game against Chelteham Whaddon B. C. The strategy fell apart here with the eventual score being 86 – 113 shot against us. I think that a few of the bowlers are going to bed and then sneaking out to the local night spots.

The Sunday evening of the bowls weekend is the Presentation Dinner at the hotel. A prize is presented to the lady and gentleman “Bowler of the Tour.” This is a very technical mathematical calculation working on a for and against shot difference over the past three matches. Margaret Clarke and Derek Lee took the honours for the trophies. Both could not believe that they had been successful and demanded a recount. The prizes were then handed out and the two recipients went back to their tables glowing like a fire grates. We were honoured by the attendance, at the Dinner, of George Lee and Ian Tucker and his wife from Gloucestershire Masonic Bowling Association.

The main event being over I could sense that some of the team were rather worried about playing on the Monday and then having to drive home. Counselling sessions were very quickly arranged and the majority of the team seem to perk up a little after. The Monday match went well with my young side beating Gloucestershire M.B.A by 31 shots.

I am still wondering how this team of naturally gifted ball players can find enough time to sleep, visit the toilet three times, and still look refreshed on three cups of coffee at breakfast. it was also a surprise that there had not been any real complaints, from any of the general guests, about the teams natural exuberance and late night antics

In two weeks the whole process starts all over again.