Bereaved Parents Family Day and TLC bears by Jackie Browne, Lead Nurse [Bereavement] Nottingham Childrens Hospital

Bereaved parents often describe how isolated they feel and how they wish they could meet other families in a similar situation. No two people grieve in exactly the same way, but it can be helpful to meet and sometimes share with other families the similar experiences, emotions and feelings that only another bereaved person could understand.

The Bereaved Parents Family Day organised by the Child Bereavement team and staff from QMC has become an annual event that provides the opportunity for bereaved families, adults and children, to come together and meet others who have all experienced the death of a child, in a safe, informal, supportive environment. All the adults and children are invited to take part in memory activities that enable them to speak, hear and write the name of the child they are remembering, but at the same time it is also about still being able to have fun.

Parents’ comments from previous days have included: ‘It was nice to feel that we are not alone, that there are lots of others in the same situation,’ ‘It was a lovely opportunity for new friendships’

One of the young people wrote: ‘It’s fun, you make friends’.

The Family Day has been held annually for the last seven years. For the last five it has been held at Blotts Country Club at Holme Pierrepont. This means that we are able to have outside activities including playing football and cricket in the beautiful grounds. The day begins with a buffet lunch, which evaluates really well with both adults and children. There are lots of craft activities to do such as; decorating plant pots and picture frames, memory sand jars, icing and decorating cakes. There is a quieter memory area where families can go and light a candle and look at previous entries in the memory book and add their own page in remembrance of their child. There are also lots of bereavement information leaflets and information about support services for people to take away.

There is also a ‘little people’ crèche inside and a wooden gazebo outside that becomes the teenage chill out area. We also offer adults the opportunity to have a relaxing head, neck and shoulder massage which they really appreciate. At the end of the day the names of the children being remembered are read out and then everyone goes outside to let off balloons with messages tied to them. This is always a really poignant time.

The children all receive a little goody bag to take home with them and the TLC teddy bears are a perfect gift for the younger ones, this year one little boy pulled the teddy out of his gift bag and just gave it a great big kiss and hug.’

One parent summed up what we are trying to achieve with this comment: ‘The day had just the right atmosphere and level of balance for remembering in a warm and caring environment.’ But my personal favourite comment comes from a nine year old who wrote: ‘It’s good cos you can re-union with someone you love.’